New game: Walmart Bumper Karts
Posted: 12/22/2004 9:48:51 AM
By: Comfortably Anonymous
Times Read: 2,229
0 Dislikes: 0
Topic: Humor
Nothing more fun than playing "Bumper Karts" at Walmart :)

Walk through the store, do your shopping as normal...

10 PTs: If walking down the aisle and someone comes the opposite way down the aisle and does not attempt to give you room, do not move your cart either, shove firmly just before impact. BAM!! Say "Oops, sorry" and move on....

If some fat lady is standing there with her cart in the middle of the aisle, staring at some product like a dead fish, cough quietly. If the stupid bag doesn't move her cart, gently push it out of the way with your cart. (20 PTs) If the lady totally lacks any acknowldgement, then SLAM your cart into hers. (50 PTs)

Some dummy coming towards you on the wrong side of the lane, doesn't get out of the way, BAM! Slam the cart! Woohoo! Fuckin dumbass! (100 PTs)

Extra 200 PTs if you scream "You fucking idiot!!" at the top of your lungs in any of the above situations.

Walmart really needs one way signs on some of their aisles. And their self-checkout equipment is the worst crap I've ever had to use. Fucks up randomly and constantly. Bakers/Krogers grocery stores have the best self-checkout equipment I've ever used.
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New game: Walmart Bumper Karts
Posted: 12/22/2004 9:48:51 AM
By: Comfortably Anonymous
Times Read: 2,229
0 Dislikes: 0
Topic: Humor
      Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband  go with her to Wal-Mart, but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

      Here's a letter the Wal-Mart manager finally sent to Mrs. Fenton



      Dear Mrs. Fenton,

      Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

      Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

      1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

      2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

      3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

      4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares...and watched what happened.

      5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

      6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

      7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

      8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

      9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

      10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

      11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

      12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

      13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

      14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those voices  again!!!!"

      And last, but not least .....

      15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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