HOWTO: Go Outside
Face it, you're gonna have to go outside eventually. Sure, Amazon.com will deliver right to your door and now even Taco Bell does deliveries, but, mark my words: some day you're going to HAVE to push away from the computer and go . . . OUTSIDE (Queue evil laugh 'Muahahahahaha!')
Here's a guide:
* Wear Pants - Countless attempts to better oneself have been cut tragically short by leaving the house without proper attire.
* Use Your Real Name - Sorry, but nobody will be impressed if you go by the name "2HOT4U", "Monarch" or "SATAN666." Names like "Steve" or "Greg" are just fine.
* The Telephone is Your Friend - Hear that ringing sound? Pick up the phone. Now speak into it.
* If Your Car Crashes, You Cannot Simply Reboot It.
* Do Not Be Surprised That Nobody Looks Like Gillian Anderson.
* Do Not Flame People - Comparing everyone you disagree with to unclean primates will not win you friends. In fact, you may get into a physical fight. If so, the next tip may be of help.
* That Red Stuff is Called Blood - Not to be confused with ketchup, blood is what keeps you alive. If you are leaking, the real world offers human tech support in the form of doctors and hospitals.
This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml
. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.