1. When an agnostic dies, does he go to the "great perhaps"?
2. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
3. Do you think Houdini ever locked his keys in his car?
4. Why is there a road sign that says "Braille Institute, Next Exit"?
5. Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
6. If procrastinators had a club would they ever have a meeting?
7. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
8. Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference between "here" and "there"?
9. When you go into a hotel you always see "reception". Why do you never just see "ception"?
10. If time heals all wounds, how come belly buttons stay the same?
11. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
12. Isn't it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economist seriously?
13. If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra would they get a four legged chicken with it's own barcode?
14. If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
15. Why is there always one in every crowd?
16. If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
17. Is it possible to have dij` vu and amnesia at the same time?
18. Why do hair shampoo instructions say "Lather. Rinse. Repeat"? If you did that, how could you stop?
19. Who decided "Hotpoint" would be a good name for a company that sells refrigerators?
20. How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
21. If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
22. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
23. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
24. Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
25. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
26. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
27. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
28. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
29. When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
30. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
31. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
32. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
33. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible
34. Why isn't 11 pronounced ""onety-one"?
35. 'I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
36. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, modeldeposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
37. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
38. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
39. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
40. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
41. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
42. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
43. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
44. Why is it that when we bounce a check, the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of?
45. Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?
46. Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,silver, or purple?
47. Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?
48. Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
49. Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
50. If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn't a Portuguese person be called a "Portugoose"?
51. Why is a procrastinator's work never done?
52. Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it'smuch easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
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