The Conservative Oath

I, as a Republican Conservative and/or member of the Tea Party, solomnly swear that from now on, I will abstain from all taxpayer-funded services and actions.

From this point forward, I pledge that I:

1. Will not work for any company that is required to pay its workers a livable wage, provide them sick days, vacation days, and benefits.
2. Will not complain when diseases and viruses, that were once fought around the globe by the US government and CDC, reach my house.
3. Will not become a member of the US military, who are paid with tax dollars.
4. Will not ask the National Guard for help after a disaster.
5. Will not call 911 when I get hurt.
6. Will not call the police to stop intruders in my home.
7. Will not summon the fire department to save my burning home.
8. Will not drive on any paved road, highway, and interstate or drive on any bridge.
9. Will not use public restrooms.
10. Will not send my kids to public schools.
11. Will not put my trash out for city garbage collectors.
12. Will not live in areas with clean air.
13. Will not drink clean water.
14. Will not visit National Parks.
15. Will not visit public museums, zoos, and monuments.
16. Will not eat or use FDA inspected food and medicines.
17. Will not bring my kids to public playgrounds.
18. Will not walk or run on sidewalks.
19. Will not use public recreational facilities.
20. Will not seek shelter facilities or food in soup kitchens if I become homeless .
21. Will not apply for educational or job training assistance when I lose my job.
22. Will not apply for food stamps when I can’t feed my children.
23. Will not use the judiciary system for any reason.
24. Will not ask for an attorney when I am arrested to be assigned to me.
25. Will not apply for any Pell Grants.
26. Will not use cures that were discovered by labs using federal dollars.
27. Will not fly on federally regulated airplanes.
28. Will not use any product that can trace its development back to NASA.
29. Will not watch the weather provided by the National Weather Service.
30. Will not listen to severe weather warnings from the National Weather Service.
31. Will not listen to tsunami, hurricane, or earthquake alert systems.
32. Will not apply for federal housing.
33. Will not use the internet, which was developed by the military.
34. Will not swim in clean rivers.
35. Will not allow my child to eat school lunches or breakfasts.
36. Will not ask for FEMA assistance when I get wiped out by disaster.
37. Will not ask the military to defend my life and home in a foreign invasion.
38. Will not use my cell phone or home telephone.
39. Will not buy firearms that wouldn’t have been developed without the support of the US Government and military.
40. Will not eat USDA inspected produce and meat.
41. Will not apply for government grants to start my own business.
42. Will not apply to win a government contract.
43. Will not buy any vehicle that has been inspected by government safety agencies.
44. Will not buy any product that is protected from poisons, toxins, etc…by the Consumer Protection Agency.
45. Will not save my money in a bank that is FDIC insured.
46. Will not use Veterans benefits or military health care.
47. Will not use the G.I. Bill to go to college.
48. Will not apply for unemployment benefits.
49. Will not use any electricity from companies regulated by the Department of Energy.
50. Will not live in homes that are built to code.
51. Will not run for public office. Politicians are paid with taxpayer dollars.
52. Will not ask for help from the FBI, S.W.A.T, the bomb squad, Homeland Security, State troopers, etc…
53. Will not apply for any government job whatsoever as all state and federal employees are paid with tax dollars.
54. Will not use public libraries.
55. Will not use the US Postal Service.
56. Will not visit the National Archives.
57. Will not visit Presidential Libraries.
58. Will not use airports that are secured by the federal government.
59. Will not apply for loans from any bank that is FDIC insured.
60. Will not ask the government to help me clean up after a tornado.
61. Will not ask the Department of Agriculture to provide a subsidy to help me run my farm.
62. Will not take walks in National Forests.
63. Will not ask for taxpayer dollars for my oil company.
64. Will not ask the federal government to bail my company out during recessions.
65. Will not seek medical care from places that use federal dollars.
66. Will not use Medicaid.
67. Will not use WIC.
68. Will not use electricity generated by Hoover Dam.
70. Will not ask the Army Corps of Engineers to rebuild levees when they break.
71. Will not let the Coast Guard save me from drowning when my boat capsizes at sea..
72. Will not ask the government to help evacuate me when all hell breaks loose in the country I am in.
73. Will not visit historic landmarks.
74. Will not visit fisheries.
75. Will not expect to see animals that are federally protected because of the Endangered Species List.
76. Will not expect plows to clear roads of snow and ice so my kids can go to school and so I can get to work.
77. Will not hunt or camp on federal land.
78. Will not work anywhere that has a safe workplace because of government regulations.
79. Will not use public transportation.
80. Will not drink water from public water fountains.
81. Will not whine when someone copies my work and sells it as their own. Government enforces copyright laws.
82. Will not expect to own my home, car, or boat. Government organizes and keeps all titles.
83. Will not expect convicted felons to remain off the streets.
84. Will not eat in restaurants that are regulated by food quality and safety standards.
85. Will not seek help from the US Embassy if I need assistance in a foreign nation.
86. Will not apply for a passport to travel outside of the United States.
87. Will not apply for a patent when I invent something.
88. Will not adopt a child through my local, state, or federal governments.
89. Will not use elevators that have been inspected by federal or state safety regulators.
90. Will not use any resource that was discovered by the USGS.
91. Will not ask for energy assistance from the government.
92. Will not move to any other developed nation, because the taxes are much higher.
93. Will not go to a beach that is kept clean by the state.
94. Will not use money printed by the US Treasury.
95. Will not complain when millions more illegal immigrants cross the border because there are no more border patrol agents.
96. Will not attend a state university.
97. Will not see any doctor that is licensed through the state.
98. Will not use any water from municipal water systems.
99. Will not use Social Security
100. Will not use Medicare.
101. Will not use GPS for navigation at any time.

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