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HOWTO: Free Drinks


Sean and Pat wanted to get drunk but didn't have a lot of money;  between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of 50 pence.

Pat said, "Hang on, I have an idea."  He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.

Sean said, "Are you crazy?  Now we don't have any money left at all."

Pat replied, "Don't worry -- just follow me.  He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guiness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Sean said, "Now you've lost it.  Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"

Pat replied, with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan!  Cheers!"

They downed their drinks.  Pat said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth."

Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out.  They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk all for free.

At the tenth pub Sean said, "Pat - I don't think I can do any more o'this.  I'm
completely drunk and me knees are killin' me!"

Patrick said, "How do you think I feel?  I lost the sausage in the third pub!!!"
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