A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter propped up on a pillow at the head of the bed.  With the worst premonition, she opens it with trembling hands and reads:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend.  I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercings and  tattoos and his big motorcycle.  But its not only that mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be  very happy in his trailer in the woods.  He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams too.

I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and for his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and  ecstasy we want.  In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the cure for AIDS, so that Ahmed can get better. He deserves it.  Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of  myself  Some day I'll come back for a visit so you can meet your grandchildren.

Your daughter,  Judith

PS:    Mom, none of that is even close to the truth.  I'm at Sally's house studying for our Econ test tomorrow.  I just wanted to show you that there are worst things in life than the report card that I hid under the napkin holder on the kitchen table....    I love you!