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Why are any of us even alive?

Is it me, or are we all ignorant victims of 'fear in marketing' used to convince us of the need for far more ridiculous products than are needed?

My Mom used to cut  chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same  knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to
get food poisoning.

My  Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw  sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown  paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting  e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake  instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures  then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail  cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE...  and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and  built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have  happened because they tell us how much safer we are now..

Flunking gym  was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than  gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national  anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of  negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an  archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and  everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something  before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how  bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital  TV cable stations.

Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and  sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been  killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant  construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of  Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did)  and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency  room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom  calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile  of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the  neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and  then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny  Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop,  just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our  house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It  was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew  had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we  possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger  management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that  we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

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