By: Comfortably Anonymous
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Topic: News: Politics
In fact, conservatives fought these liberals, because for conservatives are for the "status quo." Liberals are all about growing in new directions.
We liberals said the Earth was round. You didn't believe us. We said the Earth was not the center of the universe. You excommunicated us. We said there were dinosaurs. You said it was a hoax. We said there were cavemen. You still don't have an answer for that one.
We liberals said women and blacks deserved to be equal members of society. You conservatives fought us, and killed many of us.
We are the great painters, comedians, writers, playwrights, poets, songwriters, scientists, and lovers.
Name me one conservative legend in human history who was regarded as a good person. Just one. You can't, can you?
There are no conservative Mozarts - only Salieris. We had MLK. You had Bull Connor.
We had Picasso, Warhol, Dali, Da Vinci, Michelangelo. You would have hung a few of these guys for being gay. Where are your artists?
You have nothing. No artists. Because you conservatives are not creators. You are destroyers.
All of Silicon Valley and most of Wall Street is center-left liberals and progressives. The blue states in this country account for most of the country's wealth.
We have Harvard and the Ivy League. Where are the great conservative colleges? University of Texas?
Name the great cities of the world that are known for being conservative? London, Paris, Rome? Anyone?
You conservatives have been a drag on human development since the very beginning. Since Cain (the conservative, always trying to please Daddy) and Abel (the good son, the open-minded son).
When you conservatives ruled the world, you hijacked Christianity and turned it into a ritualistic mega-church with a standing army. You massacred millions. There is a reason why that era was called the Dark Ages.
We liberals countered with the Enlightenment. The Renaissance. It is a fact that all the writers, all the artists, all the great men to come from this era were liberals. Many were seen as enemies of the Church and State.
But as always, we liberals brought you conservative fools out of the darkness. We dragged you out, kicking and screaming, as usual.
We showed you the wonders of evolution, of science, and you hate us. We are showing you the miracle of stem cell research, the promise that it has, and you want to shut it down.
We have showed you the dangers of global warming, whether it's man made or not - and you still refuse to believe.
We tried to free the slaves. And you fought us. We crafted the world you Republicans live in. Your 40 hour work week, getting paid for overtime, no child labor, Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid... We created all of it.
We created the very world you live in. The art you see, the movies you love, words on the page that stir your heart.
And still you fight us.
You Republican fools would let a simple TV ad stop you from purchasing a product that would probably benefit you.
As usual, you cut off your nose to spite your face. Typical. But completely expected.
After all, when your heroes are Hannity and Limbaugh and Beck, you must live a sad, hateful life. Anti-everything that makes sense - and pro-everything that doesn't make sense.
I guess that's why you fools support this war, even though it makes us less safe.
We're fighting them over there, so we don't have to fight them over here! Genius.
So, continue to hate the liberals and progressives among you. Just be sure to step out of the way as we lead humanity into this next century.
Oh, and hate Steve Jobs and Bill Gates - two of the people responsible for you even typing on your computer. By the way, they're both big-time liberals.
By: Comfortably Anonymous
Times Read: 1,791
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Topic: News: Politics
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth; the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywoodand group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated-hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing