Anal Boot - An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits
in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured
through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet
or drinking game.

Angry Dragon, The - Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth,
smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up
she'll look like an angry dragon. The harder you laugh, the angrier she'll
look. Magic.

Antlers - Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at the
nipples.

Australian Death Grip - The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch
and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. A
recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great opportunity for
wagering among friends.

Bargoyle - The hideous old hair - spray hag who seems to live at your local
watering hole. She usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of dollars a
night on video - poker, and makes sexually threatening comments to
frightened college freshmen.

Bismark, The - Another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to
spew, pull out and shoot all over her face. Follow that with a punch and
smear the blood and jism together.

Blumpkin, The - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves
having her suck you off while you're on the shitter.

Bronco, The - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy
style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits
as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the
feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

Bustard - A very rude bus driver.

Butt Rodeo - When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over real
fast, start ramming her in the ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT
RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she tosses ya off!

Cajun Hot Stick - Chew some tobacco, spit it on your dick and stick it up a
girl's ass. Named this because chewing tobacco burns sensitive skin.

Chili Dog, The - You take a dump on the girl's chest and then titty fuck
her.

Clitourist - A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie:
"Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no
experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."

Cold Faithful - Blowing your visibly steaming load outside in the winter
time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski lift.

Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty skank and you
know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is
wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of
this situation. Can be very painful.

Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you
withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave
a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch - The once in a lifetime act of blowing a
hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to
force a large cold bottle of Coke into her mouth. Shake her head vigorously
back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way
to impress any friends in the room.

Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2 fingers
deep into her starfish, then reach around and wipe the residue on her upper
lip, providing her a mustache.

Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert
your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard
as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

Double Fishhook - From the doggy - style position, you hook your pinky
fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.

Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum,
sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the
neck. The blow to the neck will make her arc her back and tense her arse
muscles, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic
experience when you ejaculate, but for it to work correctly, the girl must
be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

Dutch Oven, The - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull the
covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.

Errol Flynn (Much Like Dirty Sanchez) - A time honoured event in which,
while laying the bone doggy style, you insert your finger into her asshole.
You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit
moustache. At the same time pull her hair back from her forehead. This makes
her look like Errol Flynn.

Esplanade - To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Fish Eye, The - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her pooper.
Thereupon, she turns around in a one - eyed winking motion to see what the
hell you are doing.

Flaming Amazon, The - This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When
you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and
quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then extinguish
the flames with your jizz!

Flatulence - The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over
by a steamroller.

Flying Camel, The - As she is lying on her back and you
are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without
using your arms to prop yourself up. You then to flap your arms and let out
a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.

Fountain of You, The - While sitting on her face and having her eat your
ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before
releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits.
(Better in her bed)

Fumilingus - When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she
farts directly in his/her face.

Fur Ball, The - You're chomping away at some mighty Zena who has a mane
between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball
gets lodged in your throat. You punch her.

Grand Pappy Smash - To beat your meat so hardcore that it starts to chafe
and bleed.

Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps.
Make this famous knuckle - ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on
that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on one
finger or on multiple).

Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and taking a
dump.

Golden Shower - Any form of peeing on a girl. (aka: watersports)

Homolic Maneuver, The - Using your penis to dislodge an object blocking a
choking victim's windpipe.

Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you shit on her chest.
(a.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

Houdini, The - Going at it doggy style until you are just about to come,
then pull out and spit hard, but quietly, on her back so she thinks that you
have come. When she turns around unleash a blast into her face and she is
left shocked and amazed, wondering at what a great guy you are, and how you
managed it.

Insta-gasm - Pre-mature ejaculation at the sight of a beautiful woman. ie:
"She was so fine, I had an insta - gasm before I could get her clothes off!"

Intoxicourse - Having sexual intercourse whilst piss - drunk.

Jelly Doughnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch
her in the nose while you are getting head.

Mangry - Describing the anger of women who are angry at men, specifically.
"She's such a bitch, she's just plain mangry."

Manual Deconstipation - This is where you get out the hand cream and go in
manually for the hammerhead by breaking it into smaller chunks and pulling
it out a piece at a time.

New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down on
her, you puke on her box. Happy trails!

Old Jism Trail - The stream of semen oozing down the chin and chest of
someone who has just finished fellating a senior citizen.

Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a
girl, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet
enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat
sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

Post Poodum Syndrome - The feeling of depression felt after successful
removal of a hammerhead. The excitement has passed, and you must now find
something else to occupy your time.

Ram, The - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her
head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should
allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile
sensitivity.

Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You're can
is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is
definitely worth a try.

Rear Admiral, The - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind
(with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto
anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so
that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or
table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of
Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything
and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

Rusty Anchor - After a healthy term of the Stovepiping, the recipient gets
to enjoy a good fudgesicle.

Rusty Trombone - When someone tosses someone's salad and jerks them off at
the same time.

Sandpiper - A stovepiping on the local beach, desert, or playground sandbox.
Also known as the Sandblast.

Lucky Pierre - the middle man in a three way buttfuck. Also known as the
french sandwich.

Screwnicorn, The - When a dyke puts her strap - on dildo on her forehead and
proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

Short in the Cord, A - A "code" phrase used by the common man to refer to
Testicular Tendon Tangle Syndrome. Ex. "Oh fuck! My nuts are killing me... I
think I've got a short in the cord."

Smoking Pole - Self Explanatory. Don't use fire.

Snowmobile, The - When plugging a girl while she's on all fours, reach
around and sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

Split pissonality - When you're taking a leak and you get two streams out of
the one hole!

Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.

Stranger, The - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking
off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

Stuffucking - The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes
of getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly. (see
also; Fugly)

Tea bag - As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your scrotum
in and out of her mouth, similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot water. An old
favorite.

Tossing salad - Well known by now. A prison act where one person is forced
to chow starfish with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e.
Jello, jism, etc.

Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover that it's
her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews,
tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

Turkey Shoot - When you're coming, come on her face and let it drip off her
chin so it looks like that red shit on the turkey's chin.

Valsalva - The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's
nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to
the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman
is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets
the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.

Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb
is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use; hence,
western.

Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking on your balls, repeatedly tap
the head of your cock on her forehead.

Zombie Mask, The - While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting,
trash - barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with
those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're
ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes.
This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she
stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the
walking dead.