A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the  wife
goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to  tie a
ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right,"
she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The  
wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes  to
the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the
dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is  amazed!

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his
buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly.  The
woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the  closet
again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her  
husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps  
soundly.

The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over. He stumbles into the
bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror  
and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and  
as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his  
dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says,"Boy, I  
don't remember where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and
second place."